John Wick: He Killed Everybody

He killed everybody. An action film genre that is often overlooked but easily defined. He killed everybody can be defined as an action film where we sympathize with the perceived wrong done to the protagonist. The protagonist then proceeds to bathe in the blood of the corpses of anyone who was even remotely associated with the antagonist. Unfortunately, my definition of the genre should not be held as the industry standard despite my lengthy formal education as a master of business administration.

Instant credibility
Instant credibility

A little background regarding the circumstances of why I saw this film: The Matrix trilogy was arguably the best trilogy that I’ve ever seen and because I watched it during the formative years of my late teens, I am a big fan of Keanu Reeves. Furthermore, I was also a fan of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure when I was but a young child. So in short, I was pretty fucking lame as a kid.

This isn’t to say that I was lame by association with Keanu being the root cause. On the contrary, Keanu has been an amazing actor who gets cast spot on in memorable films only to then immediately after garner multiple nominations for raspberry awards. Some of his notable film works are Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Point Break, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Speed, The Matrix, Constantine, and Street Kings. He definitely has plenty of duds, which could easily fill this page. The point being, Keanu Reeves is either an idiot savant or only a talented actor when he chooses to be. And he certainly hit the jackpot by reacquainting himself as an action star and making a huge splash in the he killed everybody genre.

There are a few films worthy of being in the he killed everybody genre in no particular order:

  1. Commando
He killed everybody.
He killed everybody.

2.  Rambo: First Blood Part II

They pushed him to the edge. Therefore, he had to kill everybody.
They pushed him to the edge. Therefore, he had to kill everybody.

3.  Payback

One could only imagine what he’s gonna do to the guys who killed Jesus.

4.  Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

It's gonna suck to be Bill.
It’s gonna suck to be Bill and everybody else.

5.  Mad Max

For some reason, I feel that there is a lot of hate in this man's heart.
For some reason, I feel that this guy is gonna kill everybody.

6.  John Motherfucking Wick!

More appropriately titled, "He Killed Everybody"
More appropriately titled, “He Killed Everybody”.

And this is where John Wick fits the bill. The film begins with John crashing his Cadillac Escalade (shameless promotion of our sponsors) and being all bloody and jacked up. It then follows with a pretty lame intro of John Wick and his wife sharing beautiful moments together. Then she dies of some unexplained affliction and somehow, someway, she leaves him a puppy in the mail as a token of her everlasting love. John drives a beastly 1969 Ford Mustang that gets stolen by Russian mobsters who ambush him in the middle of the night and kill his puppy.

This upsets John Wick so much that he dusts off his old kill everyone suit, the old kill everyone guns buried underneath the foundation of his basement, the old I’ve killed everyone in the past gold coins, and proceeds to kill everyone who was associated with this hit on his dog. He learns that the douchebag Russian mobster who orchestrated the ambush, stole his car, and killed his dog was Losef Tarasov. Losef is the son of Viggo Tarasov, of which John used to work as a hit man for.

He killed the 12 man hit squad sent to eliminate him. John kills every one of Viggo Tarasov’s cronies at the club Red Circle, except the doorman who allowed John to do his handy work. John kills everyone at the bad guy’s secret stash hideout. John kills everyone at the safe house, including Losef who is bemused that someone would kill this many people over a puppy.

Finally, John decides that there must be a final boss battle with Viggo. Without revealing too many details of how this ends, you should see this film at some point in your life. In short, John Wick doesn’t have the greatest story depth. But it doesn’t have to. It’s a film that is predicated on the action and acting of a few central characters, is not overly long at about 95 minutes, and details how John Wick fucking killed everybody. Again, go see this film and you will not be disappointed unless you are something like a thespian or something.

-Lou Brolic

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