A Letter of Caution to Civilization

As read by Daniel Juris:

As read by Lou Brolic:

Civilization is man’s middle finger to nature:

  • Fuck you potential predators! We have walls, and projectile weapons to see you are no longer a threat.
  • Fuck you weather! We’ll kill and strip other furrier creatures to fight the cold, control fire like Johnny storm to create heat, and don’t even get me started on the brilliance of air conditioning. As a side note: If there truly is a heaven, then the man who created air conditioning should be receiving a blow job daily from angels for no briefer than an eternity for his contribution to humanity.
  •  Fuck you disease! Besides our insatiable desire to have sex and give birth to offspring that share the immune system of both parents, we have also taken to the microscopes and labs to give a nut punch to any microbe we see as a threat.
  • Fuck you remoteness! With our advances in travel and telecommunication has seen to it that we are all connected constantly communicating and exchanging information. Building upon each others knowledge at such a rapid pace, I sometimes fear will open a portal to whatever dimension the bad guy from lord of the rings is from.
  • Fuck you reality! Our top egg heads are working at a feverish pace on atoms, subatomic particles, and sending phallic symbols into the vagina we call outer-space.


Behold!!!! Visual metaphor!

Yes sir, civilization is a juggernaut that has steamrolled all of humanities obstacles. Well, not exactly all of humanity’s obstacles. There is one obstacle that man has always been plagued with. That insidious hurdle is man himself. Look at our history filled with war, slavery, and genocide. Man has been this planet’s immune system against humanity since probably the first genius monkey started walking upright to avoid the farts of the monkey ahead of him….I’m pretty sure that how evolution works (stay tuned).

As great a force that civilization is, it has a built in self destruct mechanism with a neocortex smart enough to create a hydrogen bomb and a chimp-like opposable thumb dumb enough to use said bomb. This article will examine the tightrope dance over an active volcano man and country have been hot stepping to for thousands of years.


As humans we have effectively pulled ourselves from the wild and into nice houses with sidewalks and streets, supermarkets, hospitals, and douchie coffee shops. This is is civilization in a first world country like the United States. We are maximizing the environment for human flourishing. As mentioned before we have laws and values of fairness and equality that govern what and how we should strive for. Despite these advancements we are still animals with teeth and primal hungers. Because of the aforementioned values and laws, we cannot attack each other like bears or we will be shot or put behind bars or shunned…like bears.

In a progressively civilized society like ours in the United States, we strive for gender equality, and peace . In nature only the strong and fit survive competition to gather resources such as food and territory, fuck and pass there genes on to the next generation. We are from the same primordial soup as other wild life with the same drives.

How does one become strong if equality is a virtue? Being strong is relative, so if we are all the same, then where is the distinction? Should a bipedal ape deny the animalistic urges of his ancestors– the very urges that have ensured the survival of each successive predecessor long enough to pass on his and her genes like a savage relay race spanning millennia?!!! What’s a nigga to do?

Life has diversified itself on earth to suit various environments and situations. Some animals are fast, some are shelled, others are huge, some can even fly.  What Humans have in spades is adaptability . We can not only survive but turn any environment into our domain. The modern world’s landscape despite its hi-tech, high concept surface is still a Goddamn jungle! Let’s take a look at a few a ways that the blood in our veins is as red as any other animal:

Alpha males will fight sometimes to the death for the right to lead. Does this happen in society?

alpha males

What about the ladies.  What are the tools of attraction for the ability to breed and nurse? On an unrelated note, I wonder what the most popular plastic surgery is ….

not her smile






Bright smile Pam, but it’s not your teeth that are beaming…

Alpha males also have top mating privileges… is that true for us?

damn right it does.

You better believe it!

Bottom line is we are still animals with all the same instincts and desires. Societies “ideals” are to be striven for but we cannot forget that we are animals with animal urges. To ignore this is to never respect these urges. This means that we are always shocked and appalled at politicians or sports stars for cheating on their wife rather than question why this trend of high ranking males jeopardizing their livelihood for multiple female partners is happening in the first place!

Who knows maybe we conclude that marriage is an archaic institution that doesn’t have a place in the modern household. Maybe then we would redefine marriage. Bottom line: If you ignore the elephant in the room you will constantly be surprised by a damaged sofa and wondering where all the peanut smelling piles of shit keep coming from.

Merciless Social Progressiveness without Patience


“How hard  do I have to hit you before you become racially tolerant???!!!!!”

As a black man , I’m certainly in a position to understand the benefit of the momentum of social progressive movements such as civil rights. Since we started living in groups, we have been try to figure out ways to live with each other with as little conflict as possible and take it further and cooperate with each other. And let’s face it in the wild, naked, and alone, is there any other animal more vulnerable than man? So, working with each other and aligning ourselves together is paramount to our survival. I understand treating each other with respect and kindness is a necessary ingredient to being with each other. But , dare I say, perhaps our sensitivity to unfairness and inequality has taken us to a weird paradoxical dimension: A dimension where our very freedom of speech is being threatened.

We will lose our shit at anybody who utters something that can be interpreted as racist or prejudice publicly. We won’t rest until that individual is stripped of his or her job and shunned from society. This sends out the message that prejudice and racism will not be tolerated.

Here is the part that trips me out. I don’t think I have met someone who did not have some prejudicial thoughts about other groups of people. I’m talking about the type of prejudice where we form often faulty assumptions about each other based on our physical appearance, ethnic background, gender and sexual orientation etc.

Here are a few funny examples to say by the water cooler right before being sent to human resources:

-Oh you’re Asian?! You must throw a mean round house kick.

-Oh you’re Black?! You must be able to dunk, dance, and drop sick rhymes.

-Oh you’re European?! You must be really good at colonizing foreign lands and exploiting the indigenous people and land.

These are all wild and stupid assumptions to make about a person when only using the adjective of race as evidence to go by. I’ve known many Asian people and I would say that their ability to throw mean round house kicks is equivalent to that of everybody else. I know many brothers that can’t dunk, dance, or drop any rhymes sicker than a mild sore throat. And most of the white people I meet are not looking to gather slaves, spices, and gold to bring back to England while wearing tri-corner hats.


Ummmm…I said most. Not all

These assumptions are mainly fostered by miseducation and a lack of exposure to diverse cultures. If the only information one has to know about Mexican people is the the movie El Mariachi, then you may get a little nervous when you first meet a Mexican carrying a guitar case. This nervousness will seem extremely silly to someone who has had exposure to Mexican culture because exposure erodes miseducation and builds understanding.

The way people have always gotten to be less hateful and more loving of people of different ethnic backgrounds is through conversation and exposure to perceived foreign groups. Ostracizing someone for saying something racist does nothing towards increasing their understanding of other people or our understanding of that person. Policing social media like some kind of crazed “social justice” Gestapo may have people use the right politically correct words but it does nothing to address peoples true prejudicial feelings. It’s easier to keep your racist feelings about Lithuanians to yourself rather than risk being branded a bigot.

At best this approach will result in shallowly choosing your words when speaking of someone of a different race with the carefulness of a bomb squad specialist. At worst, it will cause resentment towards the restrictions of speech and may even strengthen prejudicial feelings because they are kept inside.

” So a a Rabbi, 2 Mexicans ,  and one black guy are at a bar and….oh hey fellas didn’t see you there…  Whats that?… a racist  joke?!!.. Me?! …Never!..I uh was simply telling a story how these groups can come together in complete racial harmony absent any misunderstanding…ahem and absent any humor you jackbooted pricks!”

When a fraternity was caught on tape singing about “hanging a Nigger from a tree”, it made national news for several weeks in March and April of this year. I was like “Damn! Are we living in 2015 or 1915?!” This was one of the most overtly racist thing I have ever heard from educated white people in my lifetime! I was fascinated by how this kind of subculture chant was able to survive for so long, in what is usually a very progressive atmosphere of a state university.

To me this was like discovering a Neanderthal using an iPad . I was hoping there would be a discussion, interview, or investigation as to how these idiots were motivated to sing that song rather than study for their midterms. Were they all prospective Klansmen? Do they really want to hang black people from trees? Was it only the leader that was racist and everybody else was singing along? Did they just think it was harmless fun and not take the lyrics seriously? What makes a group of young state university students sing such an offensive song in 2015? On camera?! Well, a couple of kids were suspended and one of them crawled out of the outhouse cleaning job that he will have to do for the rest of his life to give a public apology and that’s the last I heard of that story.

We should not be cruel or discriminatory towards each other not because of fear of social coercions, but because such practices are based on faulty beliefs and do unite us. One human being with all the intelligence, and adaptability that a neocortex can provide is still a hairless htreat in the wild for something with claws and fangs. We need each other. That should be the driving force that binds us.




Look, I challenge any body to wear a more gaudy red, white, and blue outfit than me on the Fourth of July. Anybody! Except Steve Rogers! I would have to be a special kind of cunt if I were to say that showing support for the very institution that had police and armed forces protect you from vultures since you were born is wrong. I would have to be some piece of shit to suggest that the force that can unite a gay couple in California and a conservative Baptist Pastor under the same banner is wrong. But this very engine that binds us together also makes it incredibly easy for “us” to attack those we deem no to be “us”.

The reason for this inclination to divide people from one another are as numerous as they are stupid. They are sometimes based on things people just don’t have any control over like the color of your skin, who your ancestors are, or which side of which intangible line on a map you were born on. Other times its based on even sillier things like which imaginary man you think you worship. If you want to take it to an uber level of silliness, sometimes people agree to worship the same imaginary dude but they will still make mortal enemies of those who disagree on the Lord’s commandment of which end of sausage to eat from.

You eat your hotdog’s from the middle?!! You will BURN in hell for this you disgusting heathen!!!

If civilization is to reach new heights of human communication, empathy, understanding, and flying cars, then we will have to be honest with ourselves. We have to admit that we are prone to forms of tribalism that cause adhesion to a group but also enmity of perceived outer groups. We must crush prejudice and racism, not through shunning or coercion, but through conversation and exposure. We must admit that we are animals. It is honorable to establish morals and values, but if we will fall short of these because of our nature then we should inspect our nature to adjust it or accommodate it. The biggest mistake is to treat the symptom and ignore the disease. The grandest monkey show that is earth is doomed for failure if we do not lift the fluffy carpet of civilization and treat the grime and dirt underneath.

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